His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings—he was a Calebite – 1 Samuel 25:3

The commentary is very specific. Abigail was “intelligent and beautiful,” but her husband, Nabal, was “surly and mean in his dealings” (1 Sam. 25:3). That says a lot about their marriage. Hardly would that union last in today’s world, when the least offense is held up in divorce court with the label, “irreconcilable differences.” Claim that excuse, and one is free to hunt down another prey for another marriage. I wonder why Abigail didn’t do just that.

Here was a woman God Himself attributed beauty to. I don’t think that description was limited to her physical appearance alone; for we hear more about Abigail later in the narrative when the possibility of disaster from David hung over Nabal’s household (12-13). The fact that the servants turned to her for remedial action reveals her inner beauty and her reputation with them (14-17).

Sometimes, we think our subordinates can’t discern beyond our office responsibilities. Many know us beyond our imaginations by our manner of speech, how we react to them, to others, and to situations, how we relate to authority, and how we deal with adversity. They watch us from a distance, and can discern who to turn to when they need help. The servants of Nabal knew Abigail’s adroitness and wisdom, and so they went to talk to her at a very critical time.

Abigail’s wisdom showed in her quick, but wise reaction (18-19). Her meeting with David, and the dialogue that ensued, was just phenomenal. It dripped with heavenly wisdom, tact, and sensitivity; and it revealed her heart of gold. Abigail appealed to David’s godly character and zeal, God’s dealings with him, particularly, his slaying of Goliath, and she pointed to his future rule over Israel, which, she argued, must be kept undefiled and his conscience kept clear (23-31). David marveled and praised God for Abigail’s “good judgement,” and for saving him from unnecessary bloodshed (32-35).

Such qualities easily befitted an equally intelligent and a highly placed personality in Israel. But, for whatever reason, Abigail was stuck to Nabal, whose name meant “Fool,” and as Abigail said, “folly went with him” (25). Many men may have desired her, but she recognized her role as Mrs. Nabal and lived under her husband’s authority with respect and honor. The crises with David presented a way out of the marriage to her; but instead of taking it, she rather protected her husband. She was unreservedly committed to the marriage and remained faithful to it until God removed Nabal and gave her to David and the royal treatment she deserved (38-42).

It is true that this marriage functioned under a different culture, circumstances, and time. However, it is important to realize that there were other factors that galvanized the union. Abigail was devoted to God, respected her husband in spite of his folly and meanness, and was faithfully committed to the marriage. Those are the factors that maintain every marital union, and they are the same factors that will keep your marriage together, in spite of the seemingly “irreconcilable differences.” The critical question however is: “Is anyone desirous of working through those differences to maintain the holy covenant they entered into at the altar for the glory of God in Jesus?

It is possible for a couple to stay together when Christ is at the center of it.