But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus .

Philippians 3:13-14

I tried to put it behind me, but it kept playing back in my mind. I prayed and cried, “Lord forgive me.”

Doesn’t the Bible promise forgiveness after confession (1 Jn. 1:9)? Why don’t I feel free then? Why the burden anymore?

Then someone told me about Philippians 3:13-14.

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

“Just forget it and move on,” he said. “It is a thing of the past. Leave it there and look ahead.”

“That simple?”

“Yeah! That’s the power of the word.”

So I plowed on every day. With bended knees and clasped hands, I sought mercy. Yet, my guilt would not go away. Like Paul, I cried out in anguish,

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Rm. 7:24).

David said it right in Psalm 32:3-4.

“When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.”

I felt the heat of crushing bones and the heaviness of guilt, and I groaned all day long. I continued reading:

“Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.

Therefore let all the faithful pray to you
    while you may be found;
surely the rising of the mighty waters
    will not reach them” (5-6).

Somebody explain this to me. I have confessed my sins to God. I have tried to forget the past and press on with my life. What then is the problem?

I thank God, for a brother who has matured through it.

“Have you confessed it to her?”

I stuttered.

“You mean her, as in my wife?”

“You got it right, brother. She is the one you directly sinned against, isn’t she?”

You see, confession is not complete until you tell it directly to the one you have physically sinned against, if they are alive and reachable. Cry as you may to God, you will not come into the lightness of His forgiveness until you settle it with the object of your act. You violate Matthew 5:23-24 if you don’t. That’s the Onesimus story (Philemon 1:12)

The command begins at the altar: Leave, go, reconcile, and come back; then sacrifice. Until then, your prayer is held in escrow until you clear it with brother Bee or sister Cee. It doesn’t matter if they don’t know you did it. The Spirit of God convicts and demands your obedience. That’s what matters.

Is it difficult? Do you risk losing reputation and respect? Can it strain a beautiful relationship for a season? What does God prefer anyway – sacrifice or obedience (1 Sam. 15:22-23)?

Make no mistake. Paul was right when he said, “Forgetting the past … I press on” (Phil. 3:13-14). Nevertheless, you cannot forget the past until you clean the trash in your closet.

So, bring all the offenses out before the offended. See mercy melt your guilt away and experience the healing power of grace.