And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them.

Luke 22:55

For Meditation

It happens to all of us – the feeling of confidence about something. But internally, the discomfort consumes us. We tell ourselves we are cool, so we adjust our posture to look it. Why should anybody see our vulnerability? You are the leader. They all look up to you. You are brave and brainy – quick to hear, quick to speak. Of course, you’ve got it wrong sometimes; but you’ve done well most of the time. Now they trust you. How then could they see your wobbling legs when it counts most?

You made a promise, and you sincerely want to fulfill it. Did you mean it? Without a doubt. You love and care so much for Him. How then could you feel the gentle breeze of pride conditioning your ego? You are the man of the hour. Yet, you are the most miserable of all people, praying for a sneaky escape.   

Ah! The warmth of the early morning fire! So welcoming to your freezing internals. How easy it is to find company around the fire. They are all like you in their own ways, needing something to calm their turmoil within. So, you blend well. The warmth of the early morning fire! How comforting!

But who is this girl casting those quizzical glances at me! My stomach quivers. What does she know? What’s she going to do?

“This man is with Him,” she said.

“Woman, I don’t know Him.”

The floodlights cut through the darkness with mocking laughter. My cover behind the dim glow of the early morning fire is shattered. I can’t believe what I just said. But you did!

“Certainly, this fellow was with Him, for he is Galilean.”

“Man, I don’t know what you are talking about.”  

The rooster’s announcement of the dawn of a new day breaks through the confused night.

The Master’s gaze! It pierces through the soul. It cuts sharper and deeper than the butcher’s knife. His words from the supper table floods my guilty conscience.

“Before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

My heart bleeds within. A sudden gale of conviction shatters the comfort of the early morning fire. Muscle spasm, nausea, hot drops, rolling down my face; I bolt out of the courtyard. Curled up in the corner of a dark alley four streets away, I mourn and wish I were dead.

“I have failed my Master,” I say between sobs.

Don’t we all fall for the comfort of the early morning fire sometimes?