A Poem by Kwame Owusu-Baafi

1)

O, how I’ve missed you!

How lonely I was without you.

Wandering too far for comfort,

I shivered in cold sweat.

Yet all the time your Love guarded me, but I did not know it!

2)

What happened?

All seemed to be going so well…

How did I lose it, when you never turned your face from me?

How did I forsake your love, so pure and unfeigned?

In my loneliness, your assuring words rang faintly in my memory.

They sent a gentle breeze around me with the warmth I missed so much.

If only I could see your face again.

If only you could receive me back into your loving arms.

Doubting….

When all the time, your love awaited me, but I did not know it!

3)

I remember the day we met.

Like an uncleaned, abandoned new born,

your love touched me.

It cleansed and delivered me.

In loving kindness, you said: “Do not worry. If nobody cares for you, I do.”

You took me in your arms, swaddling me with tenderness.

Reluctantly, I opened my eyes.

Would I face the reality which I’d feared confining?

No! I was suddenly blinded and surrounded by the beauty of your love!

Yes, all the time your love had been awaiting me, but I did not know it!

4)

You had given me a special name – a name that spoke into my life.

Still, I did not understand.

Neither did I care to acknowledge your prophesy.

Rather, adopting much that was labelled pleasurable or profitable.

I grew arrogant enough to look into your eyes of love and say,

I don’t need you anymore. I have found a better lover.

I trampled and disregarded the grace of amazing love.

Forgive me Father for I knew not what I was doing…

For all that time your love still awaited me, but I did not know it!

5)

I dropped the beautiful name you’d honored me with.

But though I pursued socially-driven pleasures,

None truly filled my longing for meaning and purpose.

None gave me satisfaction from doing as I pleased.

Blessed are the fools of senseless rebellion

For their blindness only highlights your magnanimous and eternal love.

Yes, all the time your love guarded me, but I did not know it!

(6)

Buried in denial and self-destruction I thought: “Let me return to what I know.”

To the allure of evil in disguise.

To the filth.

Back to the swaying walks and weed clouds, that momentarily elevated my unstable heart, to seemingly higher heights.

Back to the irresistible, but risky, lure of walking beauties.  

Avoidance therefore of those whose sweet fragrance blossomed only in seasons of blossoming funds?

I welcomed the familiar: Hurt. Pain. Chronic distractions.

The memories and wounds flooding back in strangely comforting chaos.

Regretting the absence of the boundaries of a father’s rod and guidance.

The lack of love. Felt always!

Yet, all the time your love guarded me, but I did not know it!

7)

The deprivation of a broken home.

The triad of separation, rejection and desolation.

A torturous pathway, littered with unfulfilled intentions and steady avoidance.

Nonetheless, your presence somehow lingered:

In the caring of a brave mother.

In the concerned attention of the model father next door.

Yes, all the time your love guarded me, but I did not know it!

(8)

In the warning signs and painted mural of defeat and dysfunction in my own home.

All repeatedly ignored.

My destiny felt like a car, sliding down a mountain side, with no brakes!

While still rejecting you as my emergency brake.

Yet, all the time your love guarded me, but I did not know it!

(9)

Rather, into the world I flew, embracing all its tantalizing promises.

A little lie here, a bigger omission there.

Tumbling non-stop down the slippery slope.

My foolish pride being my only conscience.

If only I could go back in time…back to right the wrongs!

Yet, even in my folly, your love guarded me, but I did not know it!

(10)

Undeserving, prideful and lost, I welcomed a

special gift into my life.

You gave me a gem, but one I had to learn to cherish.

One whose love mirrored your love.

Unconditional. Forgiving. Accepting and Always hopeful!

This love, from a person, in a way I’d never known.

Brokenhearted, but offering unrelenting fasting and tears.

All laid on your altar for the man I was.

She, of my heart, prayed, loved and trusted.

Later, empowered to accompany my transformation,

beyond her expectations,

Into the servant that I am today.

(11)

Through the testimony of that young doctor, you found me.  But was I ever out of your sight?

You lifted the burden of regret and pain, weighing heavily on my shoulders.

Bowed. Ashamed. Weeping helplessly. 

Would I ever again dare face you, clothed in garments of filth, worn out and wasted in loose living?

Yes, you had found me and were unfolding in love, my true destiny. But I did not know it!

(12)

Like the prodigal son, on the day of my return, you welcomed me with open arms,

Bestowing the covering of a clean slate.

Your inexhaustible riches, guaranteed.

Awaiting only my return.

Oh your reassuring whispers of: “No more grievous misery, no more insults or rejection of my love.

Welcome home. The wait has been long.

YES, MY FATHER’s WATCHFUL LOVE

HAD GUARDED ME, UNCEASINGLY!

AND FINALLY, I KNEW IT! NEVER AGAIN to DOUBT IT!

(13)

Hallelujah! Glory to God Most High!

Calvary opened to me.

Your Spirit took me to the summit of Mount Calvary, where Love was crucified.

There, your mercy and grace embraced me.

“You are home, son.” Again, that soothing voice of pardon.

(14)

A pardon erasing my disgrace and shame.

Erased, under the flowing and precious blood of your Eternal Son!

You adorned me in His righteousness and splendor.

Gliding my feet into new sandals of peace, sliding the ring of sonship back on to my finger.

“I’ve kept it for you. Always. Waiting for this day to dawn.” 

 Again, drawing me into your warm embrace.

Your love joyfully overflowing in my heart.

(15)

“Let the feast begin!” you commanded.

The bountiful the table, the joyful music, the holy dance, the sharing and sincerity!

I am home!!!

So, believe it or not, I am never again to leave my Father’s warm embrace.

He has forgiven ME!!

And you, the trusting souls, whom I have offended and disappointed along the way.

O that you could find it in your heart to also forgive me.

(16)

Stand with me, my brother. Hold my hand, my sister.

This walk to glory is jointly undertaken.

This race, a marathon. Not a sprint.

I need you.

We need each other.

With love that witnesses, through steadfast eyes on our Savior and Pathfinder – Jesus Christ, our Lord,

We will make it across the finish line.

This I promise you.

His grace will carry us home; the Holy Spirit guiding us.

What a day that will be!

When our Savior’s face we shall see!