To answer before listening—
    that is folly and shame – Proverbs 18:13

For Meditation

Listening is said to be the most significant part of communication. Yet, it is the most difficult to learn. How well we apply ourselves to listen has a lot to do with how well our relationships thrive. That is why God always calls His people to “Listen.” 

A good listener focuses on the words in a conversation. He pays attention to the body language of the speaker and the tone of their voice. This skill involves the ears, the eyes, the mind, and the heart. The key here is to listen, to understand and, to act on what the person said. For this reason, it is crucial not to miss the feelings of the speaker and their intention. When we ignore these two, we may lose the entire conversation and mess up with our response. What we do after listening is the most significant part of communication. That is why listening is so crucial in a marriage. Two good listeners make a very peaceful and stable marriage. 

In the same way, God wants us to listen carefully to Him and obey what He tells us.

When we listen to the word of God, we must be careful we do not rush to conclusions and just do whatever we think we heard. As Solomon says:

“To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13). 

There are too many assumptions and presumptions in our communication, especially in marriages. We know too much to wait for the conclusion of a statement from our spouses. Misunderstanding ensues, and the problems intensify. If only we could listen carefully for understanding before speaking, we will be considered wise and not be ashamed. 

A wise person listens carefully and gives thought to what he hears. He allows God to provide him with understanding and wisdom to instruct his response. That is what James talks about in James 1:19.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry,” 

He said this in the context of anger and how destructive a rushed response could be. But it is so true in every situation. Many people have messed up beautiful relationships this way. They either hurried to do something that did not please God (James 1:20), or they rushed to enjoy its seductive suggestions and lost favor with God.

So, let us determine to improve our communication skills, especially the art of listening.