But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus—Philippians 3:13-14

I tried to put it behind me, but it kept playing out in my memory. I prayed and cried, “Lord, forgive me.” 

Doesn’t the Bible promise forgiveness after confession (1Jn. 1:9)? Why don’t I feel free then? Why the burden anymore?

Then someone told me about Philippians 3:13-14. 

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

“Just forget it and move on,” he said. “It is a thing of the past. Leave it there and look ahead.” 

“That simple?”

“Yeah! That’s the power of the word.” 

So, I plowed on every day. With bended knees and clasped hands, I sought mercy. Yet, my guilt would not go away. Like Paul, I cried out in anguish, 

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Rm. 7:24).

David said it right in Psalm 32:3-4.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.”

I felt the heat of crushing bones and the heaviness of guilt, and I groaned all day long. I continued reading: 

“Then I acknowledged my sin to you

    and did not cover up my iniquity.

 I said, “I will confess

    my transgressions to the Lord.”

 And you forgave

    the guilt of my sin.

Therefore, let all the faithful pray to you

    while you may be found;

 surely the rising of the mighty waters

    will not reach them” (5-6).

Somebody, please explain this to me. I have confessed my sins to God. I have tried to forget the past and press on with my life. What is the problem? 

I thank God for a brother who has matured through it.

“Have you confessed it to her?”

I stuttered. 

“You mean her, as in my wife?”

“You got it right, brother. She is the one you directly sinned against, isn’t she?”

Confession is not complete until you tell it directly to the one against whom you have physically sinned. Cry as you may to God. You will not come into the lightness of His forgiveness until you settle it with the object of your act. You violate Matthew 5:23-24 by any other means. That’s the Onesimus story (Philemon 1:12)

The command begins at the altar: Leave, go, reconcile, and come back; then sacrifice. It doesn’t matter if the person doesn’t know you did it. The Spirit of God demands your obedience. That’s what matters. 

Is it difficult for you? Do you risk losing your reputation and respect? Can it strain a beautiful relationship for a season? What does God prefer anyway—sacrifice or obedience (1 Sam. 15:22-23)?

You cannot move ahead until you clean the trash in your closet before the one you offended. So, do the cleaning, and you will see how quickly mercy melts your guilt and experience the healing power of grace.