When Conflict Arises

Genesis 13:8-9

New International Version

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me,or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. ⁹ Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

For Encouragement

They thought nothing could separate them. The Benson family was close-knit, sharing everything without a second thought, a relationship that became a model for their community. They were smart, too. Each of the children settled into high-profile professions, well-paid jobs, and stable families of their own. Everything remained perfect until their Dad passed on and his estate became theirs with no Will to apportion ownership among them. Where did selfishness come from to threaten the love and unity the siblings cherished and exemplified? However, a serious dispute emerged concerning specific parts and individual choices.The litigation that ensued dragged on for three years, and in the end, it fractured the family.

A wise woman once said that property has an uncanny way of fueling selfishness, and when selfishness meets greed in a discussion about wealth, conflict ensues as understanding thins out. Therefore, we should not underestimate selfishness in any relationship. It is part of our fallen nature, and very potent. As God told Cain, Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it (Gen. 4:7).

Abraham shows us how to rule over anything that smacks of sin in the conflict that erupted between his herders and those of Lot (13:5-17). He prioritized peace and gave Lot the right of first choice when they divided the land (8-9). Though Abraham was the Patriarch, he unselfishly ceded priority of choice to his nephew. By that, he teaches us the best way to handle conflict and tap into the blessings of God that come with His peace. Abraham shows us the righteous way to overcome selfishness and greed that ply sin’s highway in defiance of God’s glory.

Three focused lessons to encourage us to rise above our selfish desires when conflict arises.

First, recognize your priority in life—to glorify God in whatever you do, even in the mundane decisions like eating and drinking (1 Cor. 10:31). In a conflict, seeking peace honors the Prince of Peace and brings glory to the Father (Gen. 13:8-9; Rom. 12:18; 1 Pt. 3:14). Allow that priority to determine your choices.

Second, eschew selfish ambition. The interest of the other person matters, but you can only see it when you approach the conflict with humility (Gen. 13:8-9; Phil. 2:3-4). So, do not look at your interest alone, but also to the interest of others. Also, do not focus only on your own interests, but also on others’.

Finally, God rewards humility and the sacrifice of our interests with much more than we could gain otherwise (Gen. 13:14-18; Phil. 2:9-11; 1 Pt. 5:6). Abraham received the Canaan blessing after honoring God in the land dispute with Lot. He received more than he bargained for.

Selfishness and greed are the worst enemies in any relationship, and recognizing them early in any conflict helps make the choices that honor God.

Pray with Me

Father, thank you for the example of Abraham, the father of faith, in dealing with the conflict with Lot. Please let your Spirit empower us to conquer the power of selfishness and greed, so that our choices may glorify you in every conflict. In Christ our Lord, amen.  

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