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Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

John 21:19

“Let’s take a stroll, Peter” the Lord said after the early breakfast at the seashore. I felt special. “Eat your heart out, Mary! This is golden – walking in heaven already with my Lord.”

Think about it. I got the singular opportunity to walk alone with my resurrected Master on that chilly morning.

But what is He going to talk about? Have I done something else? He has forgiven me for denying Him three times, so what again? He has even restored me to leadership over His flock. What then could it be? 

These thoughts raided my mind when I got over the initial excitement. Anxiety pulsated my heart, as I waited for His first word to set me at ease. What seemed like eternity increased my nervousness. That’s reminiscent of Him. Effect was the goal of His communication style, and that silence did it to me. The Lord just wanted me to reflect on our relationship – my life with Him since he called me to discipleship. What have I seen and heard from Him? What do I remember, and how has it impacted me, especially, after my fall? Now that I have been restored, how am I going to live? Am I prepared for the task ahead, or it would be Déjà vu? It felt like a chilling moment of a child before a parent who suspends a rebuke that never comes. Isn’t that how it feels when a long silence greets your prayer? But like an arrow shot through the heart, His prediction rudely awakened me.

“Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” (v.18).

Those words took me to my youthful years. I was bold and daring. Self-sufficient in my ways, I became notorious for striking first, or doing it all to prove my smartness and strength. In my haste to display my love and devotion to right causes, I displayed my impetuousness; often speaking before thinking. Where wouldn’t I go when I wished it, even if others thought it unwise? What wouldn’t I do when I so desired? That was me, Peter, and I lived it through my three-year discipleship with the Lord.

When my brother Andrew introduced me to Him, I was struck by His candor and warmth. His words dripped with love, and His face beamed with hope. It was love at first sight. I wanted to stay with Him forever; but who can come to Him when He has not called? So, I returned to my trade. Through this morning’s experience, I have relived the day He called me away from fishing in the familiar waters of the Sea of Galilee into His training program for soul winning. In these two times, Jesus has revealed my powerlessness in the skills I boasted about. I am fruitless without Him. I was reminded of His statement in His Upper Room Discourse, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

So, I understood the Lord’s statement about my future. Nothing but hardship and death awaited me as I stepped into His call to lead His church’s assault against the citadel of hell to rescue His own and bring them into the kingdom of the Son He loves, “in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Col. 1:13-14). I receive it with all humility, assured of His presence and anointing upon me. My joy is that I am in excellent company with the Lord of heaven and earth. What a privileged position that is! But, it is for all who are in Him!

Then I looked back. There was John following us. I am sure he heard everything the Lord said about me. So, do you blame me for my curiosity about his plight too?

Boy! Did I set myself up for the rebuke of a lifetime!